Anger Management

Anger is probably one of the most interesting topics to me, current day. Maybe it's because I've experienced (and still am experiencing) so many kinds of anger, and not just experiencing that but experiencing ways on responding to it.

How many times can and do we get angry a day? We could very well wake up on the wrong side of the bed and feel like we're having a rotten day for the next 24 hours. We could have a day with petty problems like a car breakdown, not finding a (good) parking space, forgetting our homework, computer crashing on us, annoying classmates, rude people... And the problems mentioned are surely petty because they aren't enough to really, actually hurt us. But they can make us angry.

My life, when it concerns anger, can be broken down into three stages: past, past and present.

Anger Management #1
I am easily angered. Flukes, delays, pressure, stress, faults, words.. everything gets to me. I react, I flare up. I frown, I scowl. I swear, I curse. I become silent, I withdraw. I shout, I cry, I blame, I accuse. I spend the next hour in an isolated self-pity party, wondering why the world is against me, why people always fail me, why problems are out to get me.

Anger Management #2
I am fairly easily angered. Some little things still annoy me, some more important matters, but I approach the anger differently. I begin to ignore it, pretend that it didn't even happen. I dismiss the person who angered me momentarily, stop associating with them till the anger wears off and we easily become friends again. At times, I even dismiss the problem or source of anger altogether, but other times I find myself persistently complaining about it.

Anger Management #3
I am still fairly easily angered. But I find that I am angered by things so different from before. My approach has changed too. When someone angers me, I pray for them. When something angers me, I pray for peace over petty problems.

Anger isn't always a bad thing. If we're angry for a right reason and if we respond correctly, there's nothing wrong with it. Anger is just a feeling, after all. It comes naturally, we cannot stop it. See the three different stages of anger I have gone through in my life? It may not apply to everyone, nor is it a statement that I do not anger anymore. Even more so, I admit that every day I encounter, see or hear people, words, attitudes and situations that make me so angry sometimes. Sometimes I become so angry, I feel like strangling someone, breaking something. I feel angry because... because I know it displeases God. Because I know it could work out differently if people took the liberty to choose correctly. Because I am unable to do anything about it.

But you know what? While I know I am unable, I know my God is able. That is why I pray.

If you read one of my previous posts about my encounter with a group of people online, I was angry, so angry with them. I eventually resorted to praying for them, because there was nothing else I could do. Nothing else and nothing better. Who knows? Perhaps my prayer added another brick on their path to knowing God.

When I counsel people who have a horrendously negative outlook on people and life, who use swear words to describe others, who prefer to dwell in intolerance rather than forgiveness, pride rather than humility, I also get angry. But I am not one good with words or persuasion. I am not a miracle-worker: I cannot change their perceptions and behavior with the snap of my fingers. But I can pray for them and that they are enlightened with a life-changing experience that will give them a happier life to live in.

I heard someone say something very inspiring today, about how we can take our anger and change it into something good. What do we achieve, after all, by taking out our anger on someone? Rather, when someone actually tries it, changing the anger to do something good for another is so much more fulfilling. Not very long ago, I wouldn't have believed that.. at all. If you had said that, I would've snorted, turned away and decided that I will treat those I dislike anyway I liked. And I probably would've picked to make them feel bad, to ignore them, to hold a grudge.

But when I began to do something good - pray, forgive, love - I found that it became so much harder to become angry and so much easier to manage my anger. I discovered what it means to have peace in Christ Jesus even in anger.

Anger management. Do you have it?